


is it too late to realize (i love you)

by Iaminfactlarry



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Peter Parker, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mentioned Suicidal Ideation, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, hurt with slight comfort, writer is not a doctor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:27:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21922894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iaminfactlarry/pseuds/Iaminfactlarry
Summary: Staring down at the bed, Tony cried until he couldn't breathe.
Relationships: Happy Hogan/May Parker (Spider-Man), May Parker (Spider-Man) & Tony Stark, Peter Parker/Tony Stark
Comments: 3
Kudos: 93





	is it too late to realize (i love you)

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Christmas Eve! This story is for @disater-dan on tumblr! It isn't very happy but i tried to end it as hopeful as I could!

The overwhelming scent of the hospital drowned Tony as muffled cries of babies and chattering and urgent footsteps surrounded him. His vision was clouded with unshed tears, will just barely holding in the emotions he was keeping in like a dam. A flood of  _ hurt _ taking control of his heart as he let out a jagged breath, lungs constricting and throat tight. 

May was next to him, sobs echoing around the waiting room, Harold soothing her with words that were silent in the way that meant he didn't know any of what was going to happen. He, with the expression of a statue, didn’t fight the feelings of fear, let the tears fall down his cheeks as he rubbed Mays back. 

Upon hearing the news, the woman kept her breathing in check. Just until she arrived at the hospital; the one closest to the crash. As she was denied the request of seeing Peter due to the shape the boy was in, her knees buckled, hitting the ground with a dull ‘thump’. 

The nurses surrounded her and helped her up, carefully leading her to a soft couch, one appearing with a blanket and a bottle of water. They wrapped the soft material around her shoulders, seemingly knowing the situation, and let her cry into one of the nurse's arms. 

An hour passed until May numbly pulled her phone out of her pocket and made a call to Harold, quick with the words “Peter’s hurt.”

-

Tony had been working in the lab when he got the news, mind on the machine he was tinkering with at the moment. 

The head of security came rushing into the room, tears falling down as he rushed through the doors. “We need to get to the hospital,  _ now.” _ he spat out, gasping, face flushed with urgency. 

The billionaire stared at him with wide eyes, standing up as if he were a robot, “Is it Pepper?” he asked, knowing she had been on a plane to London to talk shop with the prime minister. His mind was running with so many questions; He had hardly seen Harold cry. 

“It’s Peter.”

They paid no mind to the stool crashing down to the floor.

-

Tony hugged May as soon as they spotted her, bonded by a love for the boy that would drag them into burning flames to save him. The woman wasn't speaking, taking to a quiet sob muffled by Harold's suit. 

The billionaire made his way shakily to the nurse's station, trying to stay as calm and collected as possible. “Hi,” he greeted, voice betraying him as it cracked, “I was uhm,” he cleared his throat of the ball forming, urging him to cry, “I was hoping to get information on Peter Parker.” his eyebrows were knitted together and a frown etched onto his face. 

The nurse looked at him, struck by the sight of the man, “Peter… Parker?” she spoke, voice wavering in confusion. 

“Yes,” Tony bit out, left arm aching, heart beating a million miles an hour, “Peter Parker, nineteen years old, fluffy light brown hair,” his hands were flying everywhere at this point, mind just wanting answers, “I was told he was in an accident.” he finished, eyes wild. 

The nurse nodded and typed away, “Yes,” she confirmed, “His aunt mentioned you.” she typed more and let out a hum, “He came in at around late noon, he’s been taken into surgery to find the source of internal bleeding.” she stated, looking up at Tony, “He has a severe head injury due to impact,” she winced slightly, “two broken ribs and major cuts on his body.” 

Tony let out a breath and nodded, keeping the facade that he was okay, “Thank you.” he spoke, tapping his fingers on the desk and spinning around, walking towards May and Harold. 

_ This is all my fault.  _

-

**_Two weeks earlier_ ** __

“Mr. Stark!” the boy ran in, shoes squeaking against the wood floor of the penthouse,“I have finals on biochem and I need help.” he spoke in rushed words, backpack flung onto the bar, “Please.” he said, eyes shining bright and fingers nervously picking at his sleeves. 

Tony looked at him for a moment, swearing in his head that he remembered Peter naming all of the molecular compositions and how you can tell the difference between every macromolecule. He shrugged, concluding that he was probably mixing up Harley and Peter. “How can I help?”

Smiling, the teen pulled out stacks of notes and cards full of the information needed for his course. 

“Let's get started.” 

Hours later when Tony was going on about molecular fusions- the properties between them, pulling flashcards from Peters hands and quizzing him- Tony noticed that whenever he asked a question, the boys eyes lit with recognition and then faltered as he flushed and babbled about how he needed more work. 

After the man noticed this, he started repeating questions, paying close attention to how Peter stuttered on his answers, picking up on how the boy almost seemed to be putting on an act.

Tony didn't point it out, though confusion was taking over his mind, he just kept asking questions, over and over until Peter couldn't act anymore, answering fluidly with a shy smile on his face combating confident hand gestures and drawings. 

The man was explaining the history and reasoning behind the discovery of macromolecules when he noticed the dazed expression on the teens face, eyes shiny and pink lips tugged into a soft smile, all but bursting with infatuation. 

“-nd that’s why he...” the realization hit, “Pete? You listening?” 

And god, Tony knew that look, the one with a blush creeping in on the face, eyes focused on everything but lips, hands twitching as though they needed to hold something, legs bouncing,  _ ‘Fuck,’ _ Tony cursed, _ ‘fucking hell.’ _

The teen straightened up, clearing his throat in the process, “Yes Mr. Stark! Of course I am!” his eyes were gleaming and nails scratched up slightly due to him anxiously picking at them, “I just don’t understand why I have to know this to create.” his voice wavered as the lie clung to his throat.

_ ‘Right _ ’ he thought, unconvinced,  _ ‘not like you were rambling on and on about how fascinated you are about the beginning discoveries in this field.’ _ his head nodding in false understanding of the boys dilemma. 

“You know why Pete.” he started, “it is simply a way to know how the past scientists thought, learned, grew, so we can be better.” Tony always was a futurist. 

The boy nodded sheepishly, “I know.” 

A smile stretched on the billionaires face, “I know you do.”

He didn’t tease the boy for the deep red color his face sported after, even if he wanted to.

-

The boy left the building in a flurry of energy, repeating “Thank you sir!” and “I’ll see you soon?” and “Have a good evening!” Because he was a polite boy. 

As Tony heard the door shut, he twirled on his heel, heading straight to his lab, “Friday?” he called out, “Was Peter the one who was repeating answers to his practice test to me last week?” 

He knew the answer, was sure of it even in his ‘old age’. 

“Yes it was,” the AI confirmed, “Would you like to watch the tapes?” 

Tony always was an avid lover of films.

-

He had been right, just as suspected, though surprised that he didn't catch the kids interest in him sooner.  _ ‘Mind your ego’  _ Friday had said as he stood at his table, knocking down a shot of whiskey. 

_ ‘Distance, we need distance.’ _ he thought as he poured himself another glass. 

-

**An hour before the accident**

Tony kept to his drunken vow to put distance between him and the teen, hoping for Peter to ease out of the infatuation in due time. 

It was a Friday, Peters exams were over and he was coming over to the lab for some tests of a prototype for his new suit. He was excited along with Tony,  _ ‘We can always make it safer’ _ Tony would say. 

The man received a message from the teen wondering if Happy was picking him up or if Tony was as it was always switching. Tony looked down at his phone, mind tempting him to cancel, to stay away, but he decided against it. 

It was just a silly crush. 

Happy was in a meeting and Tony didn't want to risk being awkward in a car alone with the enamored boy so he sent a message saying  _ ‘I’m stuck in the lab and Happy is working, like always, sending an uber.’ _

He should've just picked the boy up himself.

-

**Current Time**

Tony swallowed harshly as he sat next to the woman, now sniffling in Harold's arms, the billionaire shakily reached his arm across the bodyguard and softly comforted May, hoping that it would do something to ease her pain. 

“I’m gonna get some coffee,” Harold spoke as he stood up, settling May up right, only for her to slump back into the couch, turning towards Tony, eyes bloodshot. 

“I can't lose him.” She whispered, the noise of the waiting room almost drowning her voice, “I just can’t.” 

Tony ripped his gaze away from the woman, noting that this was the first time she properly spoke in the past hour that they’ve been with her. He looked around the hospital, eyes catching on what seemed to be two parents and a crying baby, and as he stared, his throat closed up, heart clenched, eyes welled up with tears, and he finally let himself cry. 

“We won’t lose him,” he assured, looking over to May, “we won’t.” 

They were sitting closer, hands wrapped tightly around each other, “He’ll be okay.”

Tony didn’t know if he was trying to reassure May or himself, either way, the words didn't seem to help. 

-

A team of nurses and surgeons surrounded the boy in the operating room, all laughing and smiling gleefully, “We’ve got him! He has a steady heartbeat!” the circulating nurse announced happily, looking over to the small, beat up boy on the table, “We’re not losing you today Mr. Parker.” 

The lead surgeon turned to him and smiled, eyes crinkling up, “Fuck yeah, this kid has a life to  _ live _ .” he turned to the other surgeon, “The bleeding is under control,” he spoke into the room of hopeful doctors, “lets get this boy up and ready!” 

They knew, even with an abundant amount of hope, that this kid had a long road of recovery ahead of him. 

-

The doctor announcing that they needed to speak to Peters family had Tony stumbling onto feet in less than two seconds along with May and Harold, all gripping each other tightly. 

“Yes, we- hi, we’re here for Peter Parker.” May stuttered, fear taking a hold onto her mind.

The doctor, ‘Doctor Lee’, Tony noted, had joy hidden in his features, “Is everything okay?” he questioned, eyebrows furrowed together, “Please just… tell us?” he whispered, jaw clenching as tears suddenly snuck their way into his eyes, blurring his vision.

“Mr. Parker is in the Intensive Care Unit,” he reported, “we found the source of the internal bleeding and managed to stop it.” the doctor smiled sadly, “Unfortunately,” he sighed, “due to his brain injury, he has fallen into a coma.” 

Tony let out a pained gasp, feeling Mays grip on him become tighter, “And you don’t know when he’ll wake up?” he gritted out, words leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. 

Doctor Lee shook his head, “I’m sorry, but no…” he paused for a moment and looked at the worried trio, “You’re welcome to see him, if you’d like.”

Tony has never agreed to do anything faster. 

-

It was a sight that Tony never wanted to see, the beat up boy with bruises and cuts and tubes inside of him, it was something of nightmares. 

The only indication that Peter was alive was the steady rhythm of the heart monitor, with its beeps flooding the room with an eerie feeling, wrapping them up and choking them. 

It isn’t the end of the world, realized Tony, that the teen got hit, even if it felt like his entire body was shutting down at the image of the person he loves more than anything laying seemingly lifeless on a hospital bed. 

Harold, the one who has been the strongest of the three, held onto May as she wept at the side of the bed, heart wrenching cries making way into everyone's hearts. 

The billionaire, on the other hand, stood at the door of the room, staring at the boy, eyes glazed with tears with the overwhelming need to run out of the building. 

He didn’t. 

He stayed planted at the doorway, moving only when the doctors needed a way in and out.

-

The hope was dwindling, waiting for the teen to open his eyes for two weeks felt worse than his three month ‘vacation’ in the dank cave of Afghanistan. Though, Tony figured, the amount of self worth he believed to have was depressing. 

If the perfect skin on the boy was any indication of the boys health then one would believe that he was in tip top shape, but the silence of the room was the true sign of the kids shape.

The explanation as to why Peters external wound healed faster than expected was a hassle to keep under wraps, but hey, money can shut the best of people up. 

It was, as most things are, a waiting game to see if the hush money would actually keep Peters secret under wraps. 

Even with Stephens day job being of a different realm, Doctor Strange, along with Doctor Bruce Banner and Doctor Helen Cho were put on the case, Strange being invested in the boys health. It was no surprise that they had a soft spot for the crime fighting spider boy- it was to be expected- everyone loves Peter Parker. 

The expert Doctors held onto the strong belief that the boy would wake up, Banner stating that his cells just need time, Strange insisting the statement, and Cho proving the theory. 

The x-ray that Tony was staring blankly at was showing that there was in fact brain activity and to not lose hope. The man in question laughed dryly, squeezing onto the boys hand, “I don’t fucking need hope,” he bit out carelessly, “That’s not what I’m paying you for,” his voice wasn't cooperating with ow he wanted to speak, cracking at the thought of the boy never waking up again, “I  _ need _ him to wake up.” 

The icy glare was enhanced as tears welled up in the man's eyes as if his pain was not seeping into every breath he took, lungs shattering as the weight of what he did squeezed any and all oxygen he had left out of his body. _ ‘You deserve this torment.’  _ Tony's mind supplied in the moment. 

It wouldn't be bad, Tony thought, if I died. Peter wouldn't have to wake up to a guilty man crying on his covers. But, he figured, the boy would somehow feel like it was his fault and that is unacceptable.

“Tony…” Bruce spoke up, breaking the silence, “he will wake up,” he took a deep breath as Tony's glare darkened, “all will be well with time.” 

A scoff scratched its way out of Tony's throat, “Save the hallmark bullshit for someone who needs it,” he glanced over to Peters peaceful form on the bed and shifted, heart clenching, “Thank you,” he whispered, “thank you.”

The doctors knew that those words were their cue to exit, patting the broken man that was sitting on the hospital chair, and leaving wordlessly. 

They didn't speak of the wretched sobs that followed them on the way out. 

-

**5 months earlier**

The air was fresh, flowers blooming and the sun shining upon the mans face. Tony had hardly been able to enjoy the beauty of the world when he was always trying to save it, it was almost as if he never got any peace. 

He was sitting on a bench in Central Park, staring down at the lake with all of the ducks, swimming around happily. The billionaire sighed, closing his eyes as the breeze brushed against his skin, mussing up his hair slightly. 

Tony didn't know how long he had stayed there, breathing in the soft feeling of contentment, heart in a steady beat, until a gentle voice came filtering through his mind. 

“Mister Stark!” the voice called out, breaking the man out of his daze, “Hey sir!” 

The boys cheeks were flushed, the M.I.T sweatshirt- the one Tony lent him after a mission and the boy was freezing after the fight, shivering while wobbling back to the communal kitchen to get a hot cup of tea- drowning the boy in the soft material, and legs wrapped up in leggings.

_ He looks like a dream _ , Tony thought, staring up at the boy who was hovering over him with a sweet smile painted on his face. The man shivered as the thought crept into his mind, sending guilt all over his body _. ‘For fuck sakes,’  _ Tony scolded inwardly _ , ‘he just turned nineteen! Not only that but he’s your goddamn apprentice.’ _

“Hey kid,” he greeted, “what’re you doing here?” 

Peters eyes sparkled, “I just finished writing an essay on nanobots and I saw how beautiful this day was and I just  _ needed _ to take a walk!” he was practically bursting with joy, bouncing on his feet with glee, “Usually when I’m outside, everything is either way too much for my senses or something bad is going on but today… ” he paused for a second, sitting down next to Tony, taking a hold of his arm daintily, “everything feels so wonderful!” he exclaimed brightly. 

Tony watched as the boy spoke merrily, his bliss somehow infecting the man, keeping the man thinking about how Peter seemed to change right in front of him- from only a mentee to a beautiful, pretty boy. 

“That’s great Pete,” he couldn't think of anything other than the delicate touch of Peter on him, “I’m sorry that you don’t get to feel this all the time though…” he looked down and chuckled, “you're in good company.” 

It sounded sad but they both knew that it was okay- that both of them will be able to share the world's beauty together, even if just for a day. 

Tony, back at home, with the image of Peter smiling joyfully at the animals and the flowers, drank until the images disappeared, trying to forget the butterflies growing in his stomach. 

-

**Current time**

Tony held his breath as he thought of that summer day, remembering all of the feelings that flooded his heart all those days ago. 

He didn't think about it often, how he saw the boy in a different light that day, but now- as he sat right next to the unconscious teen, heart constricting a if it didnt know how to function- he knew that it wasn't a sorrow to drink away but something he had to face. 

His heart was pounding hard against his chest as he let tears stream down his face as anguish settled in once more. 

Peter, the boy who understood him more than anything, the boy who laughed along to his snarky jokes and even adds on, the boy who holds his hands when he’s having a panic attack, the boy who has saved him countless times, the  _ man _ \- because in reality, Tony noticed that Peter grew; his mind too wise for his body- who understood Tony to a fault. Tony  _ loves that Peter.  _

His hands were trembling as the unsettling realization struck him, his hands squeezing the sleeping boys own hand, grasping in hope that the boy will wake up, that maybe he will be able to love the boy the way he wants. 

“Peter,” he choked out, “I don't know if you can hear me but…” he didn't know what to say, his body wanting to shout from the rooftops the love he has for him, “if you are,” he continued, deeply hoping that Peter is listening, “I need you to know that I feel the same.  _ I love you _ .” he whispered, “I know you feel the same, or at least… I think you do, but I need you to know that finding out that you were in an accident crushed me; I haven't been to work in the past week, my body feels so weak and I can't bear thinking about what would happen if you never woke up again.”

He took a deep breath, shutting his eyes, “I love you so fucking much Peter Parker, please…” he exhaled, opening his eyes, gaze on the beatiful man on the bed, “give me a sign that you can hear me… please wake up.”

Tony closed his eyes again, praying to God that Peter is okay, that he heard all of that. 

And then he felt Peters hand squeeze back lightly. 

The man swears that he’s never been happier. 


End file.
